Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
