I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize