Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
