I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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