Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize