Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
NoShamevember. You game?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
