You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
