Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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