saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
