You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
