Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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