I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
