I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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