Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
