Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
