We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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