just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
