kristin has been a bad kristin
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
