omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
