im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
