and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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