oh god the rape fog is back!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
