Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
