Where is the hickey?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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