i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
