so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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