My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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