It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
