Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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