i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize