no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
