This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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