Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
