just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
