Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
