DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
