No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
