Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize