She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
