im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
