We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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