is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
