In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize