sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
