well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
