found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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