I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's never too late to be topless.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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