Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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