Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
