How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
