i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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