You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
they're like a gay fantastic four
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
