Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
