He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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