Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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