If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
