Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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