Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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