i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
