My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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