Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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