Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Randomize
