My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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