yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize