why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
