i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
