Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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