gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
