no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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