batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
