I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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