fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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