Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
