You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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