Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
